Dear Stephanie: How to Uninvite Wedding Guests

April 1, 2021
Dear Stephanie: How to Uninvite Wedding Guests

Hello engaged friend! 

I might not be the first to send you that virtual hug or message of support and encouragement but I want you to know that I understand and empathize that navigating wedding plans are HARD! Between the roller coaster of emotions and frustration, discouraged travel, border closures, group restrictions, and social distancing protocols you’re facing the uncomfortable decision with your current wedding plans. Perhaps you’ve already postponed your wedding and can’t imagine doing it again or you’re choosing to celebrate with your favourite people now and party later? Regardless of which decision you make, you might be feeling discouraged and unsure on how to proceed in altering your original guest list to fit within the parameters of our current reality. 

If so, you’re in the right place! Shall we dive in? 

Before sending the You’re Uninvited message, let’s rewind to communicating and acknowledging the current uncomfortable situation. Have you done this? 

Acknowledging the Pandemic and How to Move Forward

While this uncomfortable situation of altering your guest count is difficult for both parties, it is no surprise to us anymore. It is important to communicate your decision on your wedding plans as soon as you are comfortable doing so. I recommend including this on your wedding website informing all guests that you are currently considering all options and everyone’s safety in your next steps. 

For your convenience, here is a link to our FREE EMAIL TEMPLATES.

By doing this, you are preparing your guests for the possibility that they will be on the recipient list of the “Uninvited“ and will limit the number of messages you receive from guests asking what your plans are. Limited social gatherings won’t come as a surprise to your guests. They will most likely be expecting your email. One Tip: Always remember in your delivery to share thoughtfully that they are still very important to you and you appreciate their love and support during this challenging time and hope to celebrate with them in some way soon.

Altering the Guest List

When altering your original guest list, review the current public health order in your province/state to determine how to move forward.

Ask yourself:  

  1. How many guests are currently allowed in the city your wedding is taking place? 
  2. Speak with your venue on their current capacity and safety protocols. If you are working with a wedding planner/month of coordinator, reach out to them and ask. As much as we are navigating this and may not have the exact answers we can create creative solutions for you moving forward. Knowing these protocols/restrictions will also help support you when communicating with your guests. Those that you are inviting to attend will find comfort knowing the safety protocols you have in place before they RSVP.
  3. Are wedding vendors included in that overall guest count restriction or not? 

Once you have that number, schedule a time with your partner to reassess the guest list and create a structure around who will remain and be removed. Speak with your family and wedding party about realistic expectations and ask for the support you need. 

Communicating with your Guests

While you can send a friendly and well-thought-out email, I would encourage you to have this conversation with each of your guests over the phone, virtually, or face to face. By doing it this way, you can share the disappointment that you won’t be celebrating together but also how much you love that person and appreciate the support they have shown you and your partner. 

Start with a quick text or email sharing that you would love to take five minutes of their day to chat about your current wedding plans. While they will most likely expect what you have to say, choosing to share that news with them personally rather than in a group email will speak volumes. 

Share the Virtual Celebration Details

It’s no secret that virtual celebrations are on the rise as more and more guest restrictions are implemented. After having individual conversations with your guests, you can share a new group email with the virtual celebration details. Trust me, you can still make it fun! 

Sharing Wedding Images + Thank you Cards

Following the wedding, I encourage you to share wedding photo/video links on your wedding website and include all guests that celebrated virtually and in-person with you when sending out your thank you cards. 

Until next time, friends!

your virtual wedding planning bestie!

Meet Stephanie

“Congratulations! You’ve begun planning your wedding – I’m doing a happy dance to celebrate this exciting time with you! So who am I? I’m Stephanie, your virtual Wedding Planner ready to join forces with. I help engaged, time-strapped couples with efficient wedding planning and that’s you – so we’re basically already BFF’s. Skip the Google search and avoid falling down the rabbit hole of wedding forums and instead ask me, an experienced planner so you can get a personalized response. With twelve years of experience, my own list of stories to share it’s almost guaranteed I have an answer for you! Real, honest and no BS. Are you ready for it? I can’t wait to hear from you!”

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